An Upset Victory For Joe L. Buckett

“Virtual Candidate For The US Presidency Gets Boost From Batavia Based Company”

Batavia, IL - Aquascape Designs Inc. is a $50,000,000 company headquartered in Batavia, IL that’s best known for its charismatic leader (President/CEO Greg Wittstock), its fast growth (cover of Inc Magazine in November 2003), and its innovative, outside the box approach to the newly exploding water gardening market. But while celebrating Halloween this past Friday, their innovative approach to the world, and to life in general took an unexpected turn when Project Manager Jennifer Zuri, and cubicle partner Patti Brannon decided to come dressed up, one as anti Kerry, the other as anti Bush, and offered a mock election for the company’s 85 Batavia based employees, many of whom were caught up in the contentious politics of the day.

Virtual Candidate Is Added To The Ballot At The Last Minute“
At the last minute we decided to add a third party candidate to the ballot for all those independents in the crowd,” said Zuri. The candidate they decided to add was America’s First Virtual Candidate For President, Joe Lunch Buckett (www.joelunchbuckett.com ) whose platform is primarily based on the concept of employee ownership which Buckett labels “The economics of freedom and democracy, peace and prosperity.” “A number of Aquascape employees had shown an interest in Mr. Buckett’s candidacy, so we decided he’d make an interesting addition alongside the two mainstreamer’s,” Brannon said.

In A Stunning Victory Over His Two Well Financed Opponents
Rumor had it that Democratic employees were recruiting votes from outside the company while Republicans were doing everything in their power to suppress the vote. But when all the dust cleared, and all the votes were counted at 2PM Friday afternoon, nobody could believe their ears. “In a stunning, upset victory over his two well financed opponents,” Zuri announced, “Joe L. Buckett is our official winner with 37% of the vote, compared to 33% for Mr. Bush, and 29% for Mr. Kerry.” Then they played Hail To The Chief over the company loudspeaker.

Michael Moore Comments on Joe L. Buckett
Keep in mind now, Joe L. Buckett is the Presidential candidate about whom political satirist Michael Moore posed the rhetorical question, ‘If a guy can be President without winning, can we replace him with someone who doesn’t exist?”

So What Does Joe L. Buckett’s Victory Mean?
So what does all this mean in terms of the upcoming Presidential election on Tuesday? “If we’re any indication, it means that the American people are totally fed up with a system that coughs up a poor choice between the lesser of two evils election after election,” said Zuri. “Our company obviously prefers a non-existent candidate over the two candidates offered up by the two mainstream parties. Can you blame us?” she asked.