Red Ink Unlimited

“At Its Current Pace The Bush Administration Will Run Out Of Numbers With Which To Calculate The National Debt By Mid 2007!”

Washington, DC - So How bad is the national debt anyway? That’s the essential question being addressed by the conservative, accounting oriented think tank calling itself Mathematics Unlimited. Wrestling with the overwhelming national debt being created by the invasion of Iraq at about two billion a week, combined with the mega tax cuts the administration implemented in its first go around, and the entitlement programs that no politician is willing to take on, Math Unlimited spokesman Dr. I.M. Prudent came nose to nose against a really tough question.

Deep Accounting Doo Doo
In Prudent’s own words, “What number comes after nine hundred and ninety nine trillion and change? See what I mean? If we don’t come up with an answer soon, we are going to find ourselves in some deep accounting doo doo, because we’ll be unable to calculate the national debt that these boys are so hell bent on creating. How’ll we keep track of who owes who what?” Prudent asked with a quizzical look on his face. “This dilemma will require some brave mathematician to boldly go where no other mathematician has ever gone before.”

Cackajillion Is Coming On Strong
There have been several suggestions offered by Bush Administration supporters including things like “a sicillion” (offered by a friend from the mob), or “a dillion” (offered by a pickle manufacturer), and “a villion” (offered by Donald Rumsfeld himself). Someone even suggested “a Willion” in honor of W. Another guy suggested that the answer might be found in “light numbers” kind of like the astronomers who now deal in light years.

But the leading contender according to Prudent, came from a West Texas golf teaching pro named Dalton McCrary who suggested the new category of numbers should be “a cackajillion.” Asked to explain his idea McCrary said, “It just had a nice ring.”

In any case, in case any if readers have a suggestion for heading off this pending accounting disaster, just waiting to happen, please email Dr. Prudent any time at the following address, Prude@mathunlimited.com . He’s most anxious to hear from you.